When Michael and I got married in July of 2017, we were both half way through college. We had both just completed our second year at The Ohio State University, both in the business school at Fisher. Michael is one year older than me, but we are the same year because he joined the Air Force right out of high school and took a year to go to basic training and tech school! We are finally graduating NEXT MONTH (I still can’t believe it) and are so excited!!
I was 20 and Michael was 21 when we got married (we were and still are babies!). When we brought up the idea of getting married in college while we were still so young and so long before we even graduated college, there were obviously a lot of questions…
Was it going to distract us from focusing on school?
How were we going to support ourselves?
Were we rushing into it too quickly, would waiting be a better idea to be more secure?
Most importantly, was God leading us to do this or was it just something we wanted to do?
I can confidently say after being married for almost two years now that getting married young and in college was one of the best decisions we could have made. The biggest reason why I say this is it was completely and totally directed by GOD. He has blessed us so much and given us so much that has only confirmed our decision. This isn’t to say that there haven’t been some hard things that come along with getting married young… but the good has far outweighed the bad. It’s definitely not for everyone, but I think it’s more doable than a lot of people think if that is where you are being led!
Here are a few big things that I’ve either learned or have experienced through getting married young and while still in college, and honestly, I think these apply whether or not you’re getting married young:
It has to be totally God directed. Getting married itself needs to be… it’s such a HUGE step and a commitment. In fact, a LIFE LONG commitment. Regardless of whether or not you’re getting married young, it has to be led by God and be the direction you know He’s leading you. I think it’s so important to really know the impact of this decision and the weight that it carries, because it’s a commitment you’re making for the rest of your life. Our friends and family were very supportive from the beginning, which I think is something that’s important. If they have some wisdom to share, definitely listen and consider it in making such a big decision – whether or not you’re getting married young or not.
You don’t have to have everything figured out. Michael and I were both still living at home before getting married married in college and moving out… Michael had some experience living in a dorm at tech school, but I had always lived at home. We had nothing “figured out”… we had never experienced paying 100% of the bills ourselves… but the cool thing was, we got to move out and figure that out TOGETHER. Just being real, there is a ton of tension that can happen when you’re moving in together, because you’re figuring out how to do everything at one time. It can be a lot! However, we were almost starting from scratch and still had a lot of opinions about how we wanted things to be done. :) My business was still growing, and Michael was in school full time. We didn’t know exactly how our finances would work, but we had enough saved and we trusted that my business would help support us if we needed it… and it has! We didn’t have it all figured out… but the awesome thing is we got to figure it out together! Taking those steps of faith has only grown my trust in God because I’ve seen how He’s provided in SO many ways we weren’t even expecting, financially or otherwise!! :)
Being in college together has only strengthened our relationship! It can be really hard having to stay up late to study on a lot of nights. However, because we got married in college and we’re BOTH doing it, we can totally relate and understand a lot more if someone has to study one night. It has also given us the ability to spend more time together. We are at home together a LOT during the day (pretty much whenever we don’t have class). I’m going to miss having Michael around 24/7 once he gets a full time job! We don’t feel that being married has distracted from focusing on our classes or studying, we can actually encourage each other in it.
It’s still possible to have awesome friendships in college. I think it’s still possible to have awesome friendships when you’re married and in college! It’s going to look a little different because you won’t experience living with roommates… but I’ve still been able to have some of the sweetest friendships through college groups.
You’re going to grow and change, regardless of whether or not you get married young. Michael and I are already both so different than we were 2 years ago… but we understood that you aren’t getting married and that person will stay the same, or that you can change them in the way you want. You are going to grow and change, but the cool thing is you grow and change together! I think this applies whether you get married at age 20 or 30 or any other age. You learn how to extend so much grace and what it looks like to be committed to your relationship, regardless of how you both change. It’s such a beautiful and deep love that you get to experience. It’s so much better than anything you could be loved for that’s more surface level! It’s an unconditional love. It’s such a reflection of Jesus and how He loves us, which is something I love about marriage. Having a steadfast faith that you both pursue together is the most important thing that needs to be constant!
We are really grateful to have a LOT of supportive friends and family. Negative comments have been few and far between, and all from strangers who don’t matter anyway. There are definitely pros and cons to getting married younger versus older… there’s no right or wrong, but we are so glad we made the decision to get married young and begin our lives together sooner. God has provided in so many ways that we didn’t even expect! Also, won’t it be so cool to say we’ve been married for 50 years when we’re only 70 years old?! That will be so fun! :)
As of 2019, Michael and I now live in Columbus, Ohio. I am a wedding photographer and Michael is finishing up his degree in operations management! We are so grateful to do life together and to see where God takes us!